Jason Salamun

He cried.

The mailman, who collects the mail from the where my P.O. box is located, cried.

He’s a gruff, middle-aged fellow with his head shaved bald, thick goatee, and a baritone voice that’s difficult to understand. His demeanor is as approachable as  Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants.

For the last couple of years, our paths have crossed as I swing by to pick up my mail at the same time he collects everyone else’s.  At first, I didn’t think I should bother him. He always looked so busy (and mad), but I would walk by him as he emptied the bins from the mailboxes, flash a quick smile, and tell him to have a nice day.  He’d reply with a nod.

Eventually, I mixed it up by asking, “How’s it going?”  He would reply, “Can’t complain.”  For two adult males, that’s a pretty deep chat, and this has been the extent of our interaction the last couple of years.  From time to time, I would change it up by asking, “What’s up?” or “Big plans this weekend?” or “How ’bout this weather?”  But, keeping to form, he would answer back with replies no greater than five words and the same sourpuss expression on his face.

Last week, our paths crossed, and I asked my typical, “How’s it going?’ drive-by question on my way to check the mail.  This time he paused, which led me to pause, and behind his shades, I saw a tear drop.  I asked him if everything was okay. He said it wasn’t and pointed to his wedding band.  It turns out, after nearly 25 years of marriage, his wife had left him for another man.  I put my hand on his shoulder in sympathy as he revealed how hopeless he feels.  How he’s been trying to stay busy, but eventually, he has to go to bed, and that’s when it hurts the most. I just listened and tried to encourage him.

“The one thing keeping me going right now,” he admitted, “is my son, who’s in college. He’s all I got.”  He went on to tell me how proud he was of him and also how he’s still hoping his wife comes to her senses and returns home.  ”I’d take her back in a heartbeat.”

In my mind, I was asking God for the right words or gesture to share.  One thing that came to mind was, “hope remains.”  We talked about hope. About having something to live for.  About how he has a lot of life ahead of him.  He agreed, but I know it’s difficult to see the sky when you feel like you’re buried underground.

We were interrupted by another worker and we gave our farewell’s as he loaded packages and I moved on to check my mail. As I walked back out, he motioned me over, gave me a big bear hug, and thanked me.  I told him I’d be praying for him. With a cracking voice he said, “You have no idea how much that means, bubba.”  I’ve never been called bubba before.  It’s kinda redneck, but I took it as a term of endearment.

I haven’t seen him yet this week. I’m sure I will.

I hope he calls me bubba.

I hope he’s clinging to hope.

I hope he comes to know the source of it.

I wonder how many opportunities like this I miss because I’m too busy or too caught up in my own little world? Too many, I’m sure.

God, open my eyes to see as you see and to love my neighbor as myself. Amen.

Gentlemen like John Wooden are rare these days.  As men, I think we’ve lost the art of being gentlemen. Of being courteous, gracious, thoughtful, and romantic.

These love letters from John Wooden not only reveal the love he had for his bride but are an example for us young guns on how to treat our ladies. Enjoy.

When two become one flesh and express their love through intimacy it may be the most harmonious and wondrous acts we humans can experience.

It’s profoundly beautiful.

It’s a gracious gift from the Creator to his beloved creation to be enjoyed.

The tragedy is how scandalously we’ve treated the gift of sexuality.

Religion has stained it with stigmas, limits, and regulations.

Self-centeredness has emptied it of its potential for meaning, beauty, and love.

What if we embraced the gift as it should be?

Two becoming one.

Naked and unashamed.

Hearts in harmony, bodies in rhythm, eyes in ecstasy.

Seeking to please one another, enjoy one another, for one another.

Marriage is the canvas in which we paint exotic portraits of passion.

We have liberty to explore new colors, try new shapes, or use familiar strokes.

Free from the shallow waters of self-interest and the nasty skid marks of religiosity.

Like heat is an expression of the sun, sexuality, like all of life, is to be an expression of the gospel.

The gospel calls us to live not for ourselves, but for others, beginning in our relationships.

We love recklessly knowing we drink from the endless fountain of God’s love.

Gospeling one another in everyday moments leads to gospeling one another in our intimate moments- and this produces magical moments.

The essence of gospel sex is this:  Love first.

We love first because Christ first loved us.

The raging waterfall of gospel sex comes from the rushing river of God’s love.

Our capacity to love one another is deeper than we can dream, more vivid than we can envision, and more exciting than we can imagine.

Our challenge as husbands and wives is to be selfless, passionate lovers who desires our beloved, cares for our beloved, and continually pursues our beloved for the rest of our lives.

All to the glory of God.

Ever had a pebble chip your windshield?

If you have, then you know that the first thing you do is get it repaired.

If you don’t, that small chip will turn into a big crack.

I’m guessing there are relationships in your life right now that have a small chip.

This leaves you with two options:

1) Ignore it (and hope it just goes away)

2) Take care of it (and don’t take your chances)

If you ignore it, odds are that small chip in your relationship will grow into a full-blown fracture.

If you take care of it, you may prevent that small chip from becoming a full-blown fracture.

Make the first move.

Take care of the chip.

And don’t do crack.

God created sex.  It’s his idea.

Traditionally, churches have either been silent about sex or painted it in a bad light. But the truth is it’s really something wonderful that God’s given us.  Think about it, God didn’t have to make sex feel good.  He could have set up procreation without pleasure, but that’s not the kind of God we have.

Why is sex such a big deal?

Sex becomes an issue the same way everything in life becomes an issue.  When we turn a good thing into an ultimate thing (worship) which then makes it a bad thing.  We do this with sex, people, stuff, you name it.  Worship Christ; enjoy sex.

The fact of the matter is this: God created sex, made it good, and we need to embrace his gift to us and reject any notion that it’s somehow dirty.

Religion may say sex is dirty, but God says it’s good.  God is always better than religion.

How cool is it that included in the very Word of God is a book of beautiful, erotic poetry?  The entire book of Song of Solomon is this amazing picture of a newly married couple enjoying their sexuality and intimacy with one another. In it you’ll find everything from strip teases, to foreplay, to oral sex, to lovemaking- all to celebrate their oneness.

God gives us freedom to be passionate lovers, to do all kinds of kinky stuff, to be free with our body, while always seeking oneness in marriage.

It all goes back to the original design.

Man and Wife…Becoming One Flesh…Naked and Unashamed

Sex in marriage is the closest thing to naked and unashamed in Garden that we will experience in this lifetime.

If you’re married, chances are your sex life is too infrequent. Even in our sex-crazed culture, it’s an issue.  Isn’t interesting that the enemy will do everything he can to get you to have sex before you married and then once you’re married, do everything he can to keep you from having sex.  That should tell us something.  Yes, we’re supposed to wait until we’re married.  But once we’re married, we make up for lost time.

Married people are to have lots and lots of sex.  In fact, the only exception is a mutual exception so we can pray (spend some time alone with God).

So if you’re married, let me ask you a question: What’s keeping you from having frequent business time?

Too busy? Schedule a date night, enjoy spontaneous quickies but plan for some extended time
Lack energy? Work out and/or just do it anyway.
Kids? Set boundaries (bedtimes), use creativity (afternoon delights).
Fighting? Communicate. Reconcile. Make up sex is the best!
Stress? Finances (budget, spend less, make more), Work (change jobs if necessary)
Health? Do what you can to take care of one another

If you commit to having more frequent encounters, you will find that it actually reduces stress, decreases fighting and tension, strengthens your bond, and can even be a pretty fun workout.  Just make sure you stretch out first so you don’t pull a hamstring. 

The best sex is when each partner is seeking to fulfill the others sexual needs with selfless abandon.  It’s the most amazing masterpiece in all of creation. We have freedom in our marriages to use our imaginations. To experiment and try new things.

Again, it all goes back to the original design.

Man and Wife…Becoming One Flesh…Naked and Unashamed

Speaking of Business Time…