Removing the Pastor Patch2

As I enter my final month as pastor of the church I founded, I can already see the stitching of my pastor patch unraveling.

It’s more difficult than I realized.

I didn’t get the patch because I was a professional Christian. Far from it. But over time, that patch became a part of me. It gave me purpose. It gave me access. It gave me a platform. It gave me permission. It gave me trust. And regrettably, it gave me an identity.

As I journey through the process of unstitching the pastor patch, I’m unearthing a piercing neglect in my soul. The very truth I preached my heart out for people to know is the very truth I had forgotten: God loves me, just as I am.

Somewhere along the way, I equated that patch with God’s affirmation and love. I was like a preschooler who worked hard to color a picture for my Father to hang on his fridge in pride. Only my artwork was my ministry. And over the last few months I’ve wondered, if I stop coloring, will my Father have anything to be proud of?

But God, my strong and loving Father, is reminding me what I already know. That my value and worth isn’t based on my performance, projects, or patch, it’s based on the striking and soul-stirring certainty that I am His. Period.

To believe otherwise is to believe a fairy tale.

Related posts:

1. Why Jesus Isn’t Qualified to be Your Pastor