He cried.
The mailman, who collects the mail from the where my P.O. box is located, cried.
He’s a gruff, middle-aged fellow with his head shaved bald, thick goatee, and a baritone voice that’s difficult to understand. His demeanor is as approachable as Squidward from Spongebob Squarepants.
For the last couple of years, our paths have crossed as I swing by to pick up my mail at the same time he collects everyone else’s. At first, I didn’t think I should bother him. He always looked so busy (and mad), but I would walk by him as he emptied the bins from the mailboxes, flash a quick smile, and tell him to have a nice day. He’d reply with a nod.
Eventually, I mixed it up by asking, “How’s it going?” He would reply, “Can’t complain.” For two adult males, that’s a pretty deep chat, and this has been the extent of our interaction the last couple of years. From time to time, I would change it up by asking, “What’s up?” or “Big plans this weekend?” or “How ’bout this weather?” But, keeping to form, he would answer back with replies no greater than five words and the same sourpuss expression on his face.
Last week, our paths crossed, and I asked my typical, “How’s it going?’ drive-by question on my way to check the mail. This time he paused, which led me to pause, and behind his shades, I saw a tear drop. I asked him if everything was okay. He said it wasn’t and pointed to his wedding band. It turns out, after nearly 25 years of marriage, his wife had left him for another man. I put my hand on his shoulder in sympathy as he revealed how hopeless he feels. How he’s been trying to stay busy, but eventually, he has to go to bed, and that’s when it hurts the most. I just listened and tried to encourage him.
“The one thing keeping me going right now,” he admitted, “is my son, who’s in college. He’s all I got.” He went on to tell me how proud he was of him and also how he’s still hoping his wife comes to her senses and returns home. ”I’d take her back in a heartbeat.”
In my mind, I was asking God for the right words or gesture to share. One thing that came to mind was, “hope remains.” We talked about hope. About having something to live for. About how he has a lot of life ahead of him. He agreed, but I know it’s difficult to see the sky when you feel like you’re buried underground.
We were interrupted by another worker and we gave our farewell’s as he loaded packages and I moved on to check my mail. As I walked back out, he motioned me over, gave me a big bear hug, and thanked me. I told him I’d be praying for him. With a cracking voice he said, “You have no idea how much that means, bubba.” I’ve never been called bubba before. It’s kinda redneck, but I took it as a term of endearment.
I haven’t seen him yet this week. I’m sure I will.
I hope he calls me bubba.
I hope he’s clinging to hope.
I hope he comes to know the source of it.
I wonder how many opportunities like this I miss because I’m too busy or too caught up in my own little world? Too many, I’m sure.
God, open my eyes to see as you see and to love my neighbor as myself. Amen.